My life with.. part 4.

Lukas had his birthday at late summer. He invited a lot of his friends but only few got an invitation to stay over the night. He called me and few others and asked us to take our swimsuits with us. My mom was hesitating at first but thanks to mom Julie my mom let me go.

I remember Alex was teasing Lukas about him having sleepover. It was girly, Alex said. Lukas didn't care. There were many older boys I didn't know. I had seen them in school yard playing soccer together but I hadn't talked to them. They were laughing when they saw me. One bigger boy asked whether I was Lukas' girlfriend. Other were asking why he had girl in his birthday party. Lukas made me really happy when he told others to shush. He stated that I wans't just a girl but I was one of the boys. It made me really happy.

Lukas' mother had made a huge cake for him. It was blue and there were stuff from Biker Mice from Mars. There was Modo on top of it. It was Lukas' favourite character. Niki was really amazed how good the cake was. Lukas was smiling proudly. His mother was working at bakery so no wonder the cake was so amazing.

We were playing a lot outside. Older boys were really fast runners. I couldn't have a chance against them. While we were playing a game like hide and seek I got found all the time.

One kicks the ball in that game. One goes to get it back to it's spot while others run and hide. When the ball is on back to its spot the searcher shouts "Ball on its spot". Then the searcher starts to search others. Once they see someone they run to the ball and shout the name of who they see. The one who is been seen can try to save themselves and run to the ball and kick it away. Then the searcher have to go get it back and those who has been seen can hide again. Once everyone has been found out the first one to been seen must be the searcher.

While Alex was searcher I hid in same place as Niki did. We were lying on our bellies in huge ditch. Niki poked me with their shoulder and nodded to left. I turned my head and saw Lukas and one of his friend hiding behind storehouse. Lukas waved his hand while giving us a sign to be quiet.

Niki laughed quietly and then told me that Lukas must like me a lot. Of course I didn't believe it but Niki laughed. They said that Lukas had a crush on me because he was all the time watching me so closely. I asked how would Niki know. They pressed me down and hiss. We heard running steps go by close to us. I felt like the time had stopped. My heart was beating fast and I heard Niki's beating heart too. Niki peeked up slowly and then gave a look on me.

"Because I always look at you", they said. They stood up and started to run fast towards the ball. I peeked after them but Lukas ran to me and pressed me down.

"That was close one. He almost saw you", Lukas smiled gently. I looked into his blue eyes while they kept eye on the searcher. Lukas told me to go behind them. I wondered why but hided behind him. Suddenly Lukas leaped forward and told me to run. I started to run towards the ball.

"Lukas you dick head!" I heard a shouting behind me. Soon Lukas ran past me and towards the ball. I looked as he went really fast.

"Kick the ball!" few who had been seen shout. But Lukas didn't kick the ball. He turned to look at me and told me to kick the ball. Of course I ran as fast I could. I kicked the ball as hard as I had ever kicked. The ball flew away. Everyone started to run so that they'd hide again. I followed Niki again. Lukas were following us too.

”That was amazing!” Niki laughed once we stopped. They and Lukas gave each other a brofist. Lukas said that I did great job too. Niki said that I was surprisingly fast just seconds ago. I was happy I got praised. I really gave my best back there.

In the evening when everyone else had left Lukas told us to take our swimsuits. I and Niki changed in bathroom while boys changed in Lukas' room. Lukas took us to the swimming gob which was near to his house. Alex and Jonas went running to pier and jumped into water. Once I got to pier with Niki they splashed water on us. Niki seemed to be a bit dissatisfied in their pink swinsuit. Jonas teased them about it. Niki jumped in to water totally pissed off. They splashed water on Jonas and told they would kick his ass once they got a hold of him. I laughed at them while I immersed my hands into water.

Lukas came next to me asking if the water was cold. Henry ran by and jumped into water. I saw glimpse of his blue swimsuit before he disappeared under the water. His head came to surface and his face was distorted to grimace. Henry shouted how the water was bloody cold. I laughed and dropped into water. Henry was right – the water was cold as sin. Lukas was the last one in water. He told that we all should jump down from diving board. The one who didn't do it, should not be his friend anymore.

I didn't want to do it, but I also didn't want to be left out. We swam to floating diving board and Lukas said that it must be the highest board. It's around 3 meters he said. I looked up there and swallowed. It looked so high. Henry went first and jumped down shouting "geronimo". Jonas laughed and jumped after him shouting "banzai".

Niki told that they would jump if I did. We climb the ladder up there and while I was waiting for NIki I looked down. It was a mistake - a huge mistake. I swallowed again and looked into Niki's eyes. I saw pure fear in their eyes too. We were scared but at least I wasn't the only one. Niki took a hold of my hand and together we stepped on the edge of the diving board. I held Niki's hand tight and so did they. One, two and tree and we jumped.

The drop was the most horrible part. I felt my tummy tickle while we dropped down into water. Niki didn't release my hand underwater. They pulled me closer and kissed my cheek before we got back to surface. I gave them surprised glance but all they did was quiet hiss. Lukas dropped right behind us which took my attention.

We all swam to shore. Lukas told that he had doubted would I jump or not. I told him that I did it because it was for them all. Lukas had took soda pop with him and while we sat on the sand we gaze to opposite shore and sunset. Lukas had taken two kinds of soda pops with him. Niki said it was because of me but Lukas said that he just wanted to drink something else than just Cola.

The story is fully fictional. All the similarities are pure coincidence.

My life with... part 3.

We started spending more time together the seven of us. As long as we could we were playing soccer. Alex and Lukas fought a lot. I don't blame Lukas. Alex wasn't too good at it – at least at first. Lukas always said that even I was better at soccer than Alex was. That wasn't true. Niki helped me a lot. I was much more tinier than my friends. I also noticed that Lukas took it easy while I was around.

When the first snow fell we won our first match. It was against Back row boys and one of their friend. We had practiced a lot together. Alex got so much better at soccer and eventually he was almost the best. Henry was best simply because he played soccer as a hobby. He wasn't around at Tuesdays because he was playing with his team. Later he started to have rehearsals more often so he dropped out of team. He wanted to focus on school and on his friends.

Once autumn was over and winter came we started to visit ice rink daily. Others were playing hockey together. I only watched them since I didn't know how to ice-skate. Also their playing looked really rough. Boys had seen how the real players tackle others and of course they had to mimic. Lukas who was biggest didn't use all his power. I guess he didn't want to hurt us. Once Lukas tackled Niki really hard because Niki provoked him. Niki got big bruise on their side. Niki said it didn't hurt and laughed. Later they cursed how much it hurts.

Once Niki brought their old skates with. They told me to put the skates on. Lukas helped me to tie the laces so that I don't break my ankles. Niki pushed me on my feet and told me to take a hold of their hockey stick. And oh boy how hard I held that stick. At first Niki pulled me slowly and told me how I should use my legs. All I remember was that I just watched my feet as we slide on that icy rink. Niki was laughing when boys played trick on me. Jonas made circles around us. I looked at him when I lost my balance. I fell and all of them started to laugh as hard as they could. Later on Alex apologized that he had poked my legs with his hockey stick.

As I got better at skating Niki started to pull me faster. It was fun sometimes. Once Niki lost their balance and we slide into snow banks. Luckily it wasn't wall or anything. Niki was back on their feet fast. They jumped back on ice swearing like a pirate. They didn't do it when our parents were around. Our parents would have told them to stop.

We had our first fight with Niki when it was almost summer. Our teachers didn't like it that we always were on the same team. They told us that we should be team leaders while playing Capture the flag. So we did as they told us to do. And you won't believe what Niki did! They cheated. We used orange shirts as a flags and Niki put it on theirself. We couldn't capture it because of it.

We didn't talk anything to each others at school. But after school we went to the park as usually. We started arguing with Niki. It ended up to wrestling. We were so pissed at each other that we didn't even hold back. Both of us got one black eye and other bruises. Once we were too tired to fight we just laughed on the ground. Niki helped me to stood up and we went to buy ice cream. We saluted ourselves for winning the fight. Niki poke my ice cream with theirs. And we definitely didn't tell about it to our parents. It was our little secret.

We told our parents that we had fell. I don't believe they took any of it but they didn't say a word. Niki was pretty sure they believed our explanation. Boys weren't believing that we had fought. Niki told them everything. We were so much together that boys found it hard to believe. They demanded that once we were going to fight again we'd had to call them to see it.

All of us got trough our grade. We were joking about our grades. Alex and Kari were teasing Henry for his good grades and Niki was teasing them for their bad grades. Kari almost didn't pass first grade – again. We helped him a lot so that he at least learned to read. Alex was bad at math. It really didn't matter to us at that time. We had just passed first grade and boys had passed second grade.

On the first day off from school we took our bikes and drove to the edge of our village. There was big soccer ground. We left our bikes there and ran to the woods. Jonas had found perfect place to be our tree house. We build it whole day and few days after that. It wasn't actually in the tree. And it wasn't so gorgeous we wanted it to be but it was something we did together. We spend there a lot time. Every morning we met up there. When someone didn't show up we went to search for them.

One day when I got to our tree house someone had broke it. Jonas was angrier than ever. He swore that we would build Fort Woods again. It would be even better that this one so that no one could ever broke it again. Well we didn't build our tree house again. Henry managed to persuade Jonas that it wasn't so important.

Lukas told me that he didn't want to build tree house in the first place but he helped since we all seemed so happy. In the end he had liked it too. Lukas told me also that he knew who broke it but he asked me to not tell anyone. And I didn't. I only mentioned Niki about it but Niki didn't really care. They said that it was fun as long as it lasted but it was pointless to keep thinking about it since it was already gone.

The story is fully fictional. All the similarities are pure coincidence.

My life with.. part 2.

Few days after the incident had happened with the boys from second grade, the one I had hit came to us again. Niki did ignore him at first but then he sat down and watched us playing. Niki asked why did he stare our play. The boy told that he wanted to play too. Niki was wondering didn't boy have his own Pokémon cards and friends to play with. The boy just shook his head.

I stood up and settled right next to Niki telling the boy to play with my cards. But I told him to not to break any cards which he didn't do. The boy was really good at playing. Even Niki had hard times to play against him. That was an surprise for me. I had thought that Niki was best of the best. Might have been just my childish imagination. Niki was so much bigger than I was.

The boy told that his parents didn't let him buy Pokémon cards. They thought they were useless. The boy had played with his friends but then they had told him to get his own cards. Niki didn't feel any compassion for him. They just either ignored his talking or said something cruelly. The few months I had know Niki I knew they might be really cruel from time to time. It was because of other people. They had made Niki cruel with their behavior. With me Niki was more relaxed and gentle.

I asked Niki would they like to come over my place in the evening. It was Friday so there wasn't worries about homework and other stuff. We could finally play my Playstation together. Niki said that they had to talk with their parents first. They'd love to come but since my moms were lesbians Niki's father wouldn't let them come. The boy wanted to come too. He wanted to play too. We agreed to meet up in the park which was near to the market.

My moms were happy I have had friends. They told that Niki and the boy – Jonas could come. Kari was also coming. My mom promised to buy snacks and soda pop for us. I was really excited. We visited the market with my mom and after that we went to the park to wait Niki and others. Niki came first with their mom. Niki seemed a bit nervous. Our moms greeted each other and started to talk together. Niki's mom seemed really nervous at first but once she noticed that my mom is just a normal person she relaxed.

Niki had told that their parents knew about my moms. But they forgot to mention that their mom felt uneasy about that. I already knew Niki's father hated my moms. We had met him once at market. He pulled Niki away from me and told my moms to keep me away from his child. Niki told him that we were best friends but he didn't listen.

Niki's mom let Niki stay over night at our place. She said that she won't tell to Niki's father the whole truth. Mom called Niki by their real name which made them a bit angry, but it only happened once. My mom apologized and promised to call them Niki. I was happy my mom understood. Of course I wondered why Niki hated their real name but I hadn't enough courage to ask it. Later when I asked about it Niki told that Anna-Lisa was too defining. It was too feminine.

I admit it would be really confusing to call them with name Anna-Lisa. Niki had cut their hair really short. They only used really big shirts and their clothes weren't girlish like mine. I had My Little Ponies and Niki had Biker Mice from Mars.

Jonas brought his friends with him. There was quiet boy named Alex. Once he got Playstation controller on his hands he wasn't so quiet anymore. Alex had dyed his hair black without his mom's permission and was cool because of that. We all respected him. He was oldest one. Then there was Henry. He was really good friend with Jonas and those two kind of were the leaders of our group. Henry was really outgoing and talkative. He often just sat with my mom in kitchen and talked with her. I still don't know what were they talking about. The last but not least was Lukas. Lukas was a bit cold boy. He fight a lot with his brothers but also with other boys too. He was tough guy and tallest of us. Once we got older he was that kind of guy who took ours back since no one didn't want to pick a fight with him.

We played whole evening together. Alex took few games with him. Most of the time we played Crash Bandicoot since boys wanted to play it trough. I was bad gamer but boys didn't care. They were encouraging me while I did my best. They think it was fun how I tilt my body as I tried to make the character jump or turn.

Niki started to spend their Friday nights over my place. Our moms organized it that way. At that time I didn't know why but later Niki told that their dad beat them a lot at home. Niki's mom thought it would be good to her child to spend time in our house. Even if my moms were lesbians Niki's mom trusted them. Niki once came behind our door after their dad had hit them. Mom Julie called to Niki's mom and told she'd stay over our place. Niki's mom agreed. In the morning she came to get Niki back to home. So that she could get ready for school.

But Friday evenings. Those were our time. Just me and Niki. We sat on our couch and watched Ugly Betty from dvd. We both loved the character Mark. Michael Urie did his role magnificently. Mark was stereotypical gay – really annoying and petty but also really loveable. I and Niki sat really close to each others. We had one red blanket going over our bodies. Niki usually had grey pajamas and I had green. We laughed and talked about the story and characters. Once in awhile Henry accompanied us. Other boys thought Ugly Betty was too girly for them.

My mom had bought us soda pop and snacks. Niki wanted to have potato chips and I wanted ice cream. We usually got only potato chips but once in a while mom Julie bought me ice cream. My mom thought I'd get fat if I ate too much ice cream. Like potato chips were any better.

The story is fully fictional. All the similarities are pure coincidence.

My life with... part 1.

I haven't seen my dad for many years. One night my mom just took what she needed and left my dad. I remember she sent divorce papers by mail. Dad wasn't cooperating at first but eventually mom got those papers.

At that time mom always said that everything will be fine. Once Julia came to our life everything ended up being really good. My mom started to laugh again. She was happy woman again. My mom sang happily again while she cooked or cleaned our little apartment. Julia adopted me so now I have two mothers.

It was really confusing at first. I couldn't understand why I didn't have father but I had two mothers. I wanted to see my dad at first but then I kind of forgot him. After few months it was my daily life. I lived with two loving moms. I'm not complaining. Of course from time to time I wanted to see my dad, but I also understood it wasn't possible.

When I was 7 our family moved again. It was the sum of unfortunate coincidences. My mom got a job from tiny village and my other mom – Julia got fired from her job. Both of them were social workers.

Soon after we moved mom Julia got new job. She is great person and even better in her job. She had to travel for two hours with train. But she never complained about it. My mother Katy was many times unhappy with mom Julia's job but she was also happy that mom Julia got something to do.

I know there wasn't any good reason to kick out mom Julia. Many just didn't like the fact she was a lesbian. I remember those unbelieving looks in peoples face when we visited markets. No one didn't say a thing. Still they just stared and whispered with each others. My moms didn't care about what other people thought.

I started school in new village next autumn. The very first school day was sunny. Some of the birch leaves were a bit yellowed. But only very few. I was really tense. I didn't want to start the school. That would mean I don't have time to play my Playstation. That also meant that I don't have time to anything – in the end I was just sitting in one room whole day long. My mom tried to comfort me saying that we'd have breaks too. Fifteen minutes in every hour. I didn't believe them.

School's playground was full of children. There were first graders like me. All of them had expectant and nervous look in their eyes. I must have looked like as tense as they were. My mom had talked the whole trip from home to school. She had talked about Julia and about their work. She might even have told me that she was coming to pick me up after school but I don't recall.

I heard many new names in first day. Our class had 20 pupils and two teachers. Both of our teachers seemed really bored most of the time. Other one wasn't actually even around most of her time. The other one had sometimes hard times to look after all of us. Especially the six boys from back row made her days rough. They often were throwing pieces from their erasers. Once one of them cut huge wound in the middle of his hand while they were playing with scissors.

There were also two older ones in our class. They had not reached the second grade. Other was Kari, boy who hadn't learned to read. Other was a girl named Anna-Lisa. They was quiet one from the very beginning. When teacher said 'she' Anna-Lisa corrected 'they'. No one wasn't them friend. They didn't look like a girl but neither did they look like a boy.

I once asked was Anna-Lisa boy or girl. Anna-Lisa answered that they was person. I nodded and told that I was person too but I was also girl. Anna-Lisa asked me to call they with name Niki. So I did. I stopped using pronouns 'she' and 'he'. Instead we used 'they' while talking about each other.

I got many friends. Little by little everyone else but Niki started to recede away. Kari spend a lot time with us too. It was tiny village. I kind of knew that would happen eventually. I heard many times insults like 'freak's daughter'. I didn't understand what it was all about. Not before the 'Back row boys' asked me whether I had two moms or not. Of course I said proudly that I had two moms. I also realised that I got bullied because of my two moms.

Niki stoodd a moment in silence. I was terrified that they might leave me too. Instead Niki raised their middle finger and told Back row boys to fuck off. I will never forget their faces. It was so hilarious. Those six boys had their eyes widened bigger than ever and they just stared Niki. Niki stepped forward. They was really angry which scared those six boys away.

They turned to look at me. Niki's eyes were sad even they looked really angry.

”Thanks” I said and swallowed slowly.

We started to be together more and more with Niki. We both brought our Pokémon cards into school and Niki taught me to play with them. It was late fall when we were sitting in school yard playing our cards. Almost all of the leaves had dropped town but it wasn't wet. Niki had two boards for our cards. We often went to aside so that we could play in peace. I was terrible at it but Niki never got bored to give advises to me. One day we were playing again when few boys from second grade came. They were calling Niki with names like 'lesbian' and 'freak' and some other discusting names. Niki told them to sush many times but they didn't listen. I hadn't seen those four never, but it seemed that they knew Niki.

I stood up and looked the closest one in to the eyes. I don't know why but I hit his face as hard as I could ever hit. The boy lost his balance. He shouted angrily that I was crazy while he was holding his tears. He had raised his hand to his cheek. I just told him to be quiet and leave. The teachers had noticed the incident and of course they had to call my moms.

I had to wait after school so that my moms arrived. Niki also stayed and so did the boy I had hit. My moms arrived first and before they had said anything Niki stood up and told it was their fault. That I had defended them. My mothers didn't believe them at first. I of course said it was because of Niki. The boy had said many discusting things I didn't want him to say – not to Niki. Mom Julie sighed and sat next to me. She had smile on her face while she talked to me. She told that I can't hit others just because they say something I don't want to hear.

We talked to teachers for a long time. At least it felt like forever. My moms didn't like the way teachers talked to them. Mom Julie and mom both asked what had teachers done when they heard that boy picked fight with us. Teachers just blamed me. My moms didn't give up until the teachers got principal on scene. They talked a lot about bullying which had happened a lot in our school.

When they finally were ready we step into corridor where Niki was still waiting. I asked why they still where there. Niki grabbed my hands and said that I should never again defend them with force. I didn't get the point but I promised I won't do it again.

The story is fully fictional. All the similarities are pure coincidence.